I’ve had the ideas for this post running around in my head for a couple of weeks now, but just haven’t really been compelled to write them until now. Every time I think about writing this post, it grows to gargantuan lengths before I even get it out of my head. I’ve thought about dividing this post into smaller chunks, but I’m not sure that works either.

But then my friend Lynette Chandler posted a commentary on customer service that really illustrates one of the points that I want to make. So I’m going to jump in and we’ll just see where this goes.

Over the past few years, I’ve searched the internet for commentary on customer service. I’ve found forum posts in which customers and even business owners have stated that it’s better to work at a loss than to have a dissatisfied client. “The customer is always right” is the mantra and it’s called good business.

Alternately, I’ve read blog posts in which business owners have stated that the customer is always right — except when they are wrong. The business owner should then try to educate the customer, and attempt to bring her over to the side of right. Of course, this assumes that the customer is honestly uninformed and that communication efforts will lead to an agreement that is equitable to both parties. Once the customer is brought up to speed, she is right and all is well.

Unfortunately, I think both of those attitudes fail to encompass all customer service situations encountered in the real world — and most certainly not the case that prompted Lynette to write her diatribe.

Here is my theory, in a nutshell: Customer service is a partnership. You could even call it a relationship.

As in any relationship, you must have mutual trust, respect and honesty. The business owner has a product or service she is especially equipped and willing to provide. The customer has a need for said product or service and the money to exchange for it.

Additionally, the business owner sets the tone and boundaries for the relationship, for online businesses, through the content on the website — the policies and procedures in particular.

The partnership begins when the customer selects the business owner, preferably after doing some research on said business and determining based on word of mouth referrals and a perusal of goods or services. At this point, the customer extends respect and trust to the business owner by purchasing the product, and asking any questions or making in requests in a respectful manner.

The business owner extends trust and respect by accepting payment, providing the product and answering any questions or responding to any requests in a respectful manner.

Unfortunately, this partnership is not always this idyllic. Problems occur when business owners fail to provide what they have advertised — or when customers expect the owner to set aside boundaries they have established. Or when a customer is dishonest and is attempting to get something they haven’t paid for.

Additionally, either side can blow a partnership through abusive language, overstepping boundaries and generally untrustworthy and disrespectful behavior.

For example, a business owner who takes the money and never does anything is violating the agreement between herself and the customer, which destroys the partnership through dishonesty. Likewise, a customer who pays for a specific service, and then expects the business owner to provide additional services at no extra charge is overstepping the boundaries of the agreement.

Customers who fail to provide necessary information to troubleshoot issues with products or services, or who immediately assume that the business owner is untrustworthy the moment trouble arises and responses in a verbally abusive manner are violating this partnership.

Business owners and customers alike will benefit from being 100 percent honest about expectations, from being perfectly clear in what is to be delivered and what is not. Written agreements are always better than verbal ones.

So what does this mean? It means that while the business owner is responsible for setting the tone and boundaries for their business relations, the customer has an integral part in building and maintaining the partnership. Problems on either side can cause a “bad” customer service experience. Often, only the parties themselves know who is really at fault. In some cases, both parties may be at fault, and in others, neither.

Of one thing I am certain: You cannot judge a business or a customer by one bad experience, nor can you make an accurate judgment after hearing only one side of the story.

What can you do to improve your customer service — regardless of what side of the fence you are on?

1. If you’re a business owner, make sure your policies and procedures are clear. Make sure you describe exactly what the customer is getting.
2. Maintain professionalism in your communications. Get your agreements in writing.
3. Customers, make sure you know exactly what you want, that the business is providing what you want, and that you maintain professionalism in your communications.

As I’m sure you know, even the best of intentions lead to … you know where. If you’re a business owner dealing with a dishonest customer, I recommend you get out ASAP. If laws have been broken, contact authorities. If you simply suspect the customer is out to get as much out of you as possible, do the best you can to professionally and courteously extract yourself from the relationship. You deserve to be paid for any time or products that you have put into the partnership — but you should not continue. If you’re uncertain of what you can do, call your attorney to make sure you’re taking appropriate steps and are doing what is legally right. I’d also recommend talking to a business advisor to make sure that what is legally right is also ethically right.

If you are a customer dealing with a dishonest business, I recommend contacting authorities such as the Attorney General’s office in the company’s state, or at least an attorney who can advise you as to your rights under the law in the situation. Naturally, this should be done after you have made every effort possible to mend the partnership with the company. I would also do this before posting negative reviews on public sites, as you may be hurting yourself legally otherwise. If you truly have a legal leg to stand on, it’s better to handle it through the proper channels than through attempts to harm a businesses reputation. This can backfire on you if you’re interpretation of events is inaccurate and leads you to make libelous statements that could be viewed as malicious attempts to harm a business.

These three steps will go a long way in ensuring that an honest business and an honest customer will be able to build a partnership that is beneficial to both, and that can be easily mended if it gets off track.

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