Before And After Children

I was just thinking tonight how my attitudes about children and their behavior has changed dramatically from before I had kids to after I had them.

So, I thought I’d share a few of my observations:

Before children:
My child will NEVER do that!

After children:
All kids do that and it is perfectly normal.

Before children:
If you were a good parent, your children would behave themselves, even when you are out of sight.

After children:
Children can write all over their bodies with the permanent marker you lost underneath your office desk — in the time it takes you to pour yourself a glass of water in the kitchen.

Before children:
Children should be seen, not heard.

After children:
Children who cannot be heard are most certainly doing something they shouldn’t, like pulling the tape out of your old cassette collection or shearing their hair with the manicure scissors kept in the cabinet over the bathroom sink. Noisy children can be easily located and you can tell exactly what they are doing from the other end of the house.

What are your Before And Afters?